Today started as my worst so far. Walking with my dog in the morning felt like a Herculean task. My legs were heavy and tired and I caught myself more than once wanting to cut my walk short even more. All day I tried to do something and I actually was able to do my office notes for a few hours. It got worse by dinner. I did several scavenger hunts in my refrigerator hoping for miraculous food that would have a normal taste. As a result I found salty-sour strawberries, bitter-sour cheese, rotten fish and so on. None of that was really the case though. It was how I tasted those foods. Dinner smelled awesome and tasted – not pleasant. I decided to break my rules and have a piece of home made apricot cake that turned to be …. Salty bitter. Then my body wanted to expulse everything from everywhere and I thought and had reached the lowest point. That’s when I decided to check (only the second time today) if my MRI results were back in. And they were. THERE IS NOTHING THERE. NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL!!! I simply cried. And all of a sudden I felt immediately better. Nausea was not that bad and I had more energy (not quite up to climbing Mt. Everest but still…). I am not done by any means but now there is hope and there is light at the end of the tunnel
Over the last few days I finished my chemotherapy, I go my MRI, I survived through poetry night and few rough days. It is too early to celebrate freedom but nevertheless, I want to say thank you to all my friends. To everyone who relentlessly called, texted, visited and comforted me all those long six months and will continue doing so. I have not shed that many tears but lately they are mostly happy tears. Like I cried when I got this text:
I am dedicating this poem to my friends whose friendship I cherish and treasure above everything else:
What friends are for? To chat, to meet
And laugh and have a glass of wine,
To go together on a shopping spree
Or simply be there at times?
It matters not if we don’t talk,
Don’t call or whasup weeks on end
Or cast the votes that are opposed
And not so often share plans.
But there is always chest to cry,
And friends are just a call away,
They’d drop it all and drive and fly
To help you in the darkest day.
They’ll boast your highs and comfort lows,
They’ll be at every twist and turn,
They’ll stand with you to weather storms,
To friends I toast and honk my horn!
Yees! You made me cry but these are happy tears! I feel so fortunate to have you in my life 💖💖💖
I hope for many more happy tears!