Day #1. Entire night I feel like I am navigating hills. I fall into dreamless sleep for 2 hours and then climb out and then fall again. Interestingly by the morning cotton is mostly out of my head and I no longer look green. I am greatly encouraged by it and feel like I am gona have breakfast and then I will set to work – why waste precious time. I dutifully take my antibiotic and 20 minutes later nausea overcomes me and I lose thae antibiotic. I am also dizzy again. Fortunately there was no breakfast. I am five pounds lighter that yesterday morning and that with drains and a phone in my hand, so probably six or seven. I have taken a nausea medication (which I only took once throughout 6 months of chemo!) and I am waiting. If I am able to take hold water I will try antibiotic again. It is 90 degrees outside and I feel cold in my room. Balloon bouquet has been gently rustling along my bed since I came home last night. My dogs are trying to understand that they will no longer be sleeping in my bed for a while. I am trying to get my 250 steps an hour. It is still hard to think. Again, do not believe those happy pictures people post where they smile at the camera postop. One can smile after delivery – that makes much more sense to me. It is also strange to look and misshapen wobbly things in my chest that I absolutely don’t feel.
Another ironic detail – I got an email from camp where my daughter was inquiring about well being of her stepsister (my stepdaughter) in Texas in relation with floods. It is good she is compassionate. I was asked to provide reassurance in the email. She did not inquire about me. I can only look at it as her firm belief and my strength :)))
I have expressed gratitude so many times to many people and yet again, everyone who has inquired about me, every dear face, text and voice I have seen and heard upon regaining consciousness, thank you! I feel all the love and prayer you have given me. It is so good to be in possession of all my faculties once again! My biggest concern was my brain (rather losing it) but I guess I have retained most of it. I have not yet tried playing brain games but I will. The most unusual for me is doing nothing. I want to try doing some office notes and see what happens. Love you all.