Yesss!!! This is the first time I am spending the night not at home in ten months! I am in Moonstone Beach (Cambria, CA). I am taking a road trip. First time in many months when I am not wearing a mask, wig, or a beanie. I am breaking so many rules today! I am driving for at least 4 hours (240 miles), I forgot that I needed 3 sets of my pills, not two and right now I am too tired to go to the car and grab my powder that I forgot in the door pocket. I also had late dinner and ate bread. But the taste of freedom! I am no longer scared of getting an infection because my white count is too low. Frankly my red count still being very low (8.1) still does not bother me much. I walk up and down the hill and steps. My daughter and I visit Hearst Castle. I have not been here for more than 20 years. Majestic beauty of the place has not changed one bit. And the famous poor is still dazzling with its sparkling water and sheer enormity of its size. My daughter did not want me to take a picture of her near the pool. Oh well, I had my nostalgic moment here. When my son was just 3.5 my residency gave me one month of vacation and it was March, 1995 (30 years ago!). We took a road trip up North and went to Hearst Castle, Monterey, Carmel, and finally San Francisco. There are few things I remember from that trip. Budget $32 a night motel, my son not willing to walk or be driven in a folding stroller, amazing English tea with cream and fish and chips in London Bridge English Pub on the pier in Monterey, elegant beauty of 17 miles road, roasted duck in China town SF and driving back in the rain. My mom took a picture of my son on my shoulder next to this very pool. The picture made it to the Jewish Journal where an article of an immigrant physician from Latvia was written later on in hopes to help me with my endless immigration struggles (I was fortunate it was before the ICE age). I felt de-ja vu today but I doubt I could hold my daughter on my shoulders anymore. As for drive back 30 years ago – the rain was truly tropical. It felt epic. Freeway 5 was flooded and closed. There was no navigation (Thomas Guide and a map from AAA). We took a detour and then I decided to outsmart everyone and get back on the five taking another 40 mile detour only to find out on the 39th mile that 5 was still closed. It took me 9 hours to get home from San Francisco. My mom was shoving a piece of duck from Chinese take out box into my mouth displaying excellent aim from the back seat. I drove highway 99. Left lane was us. Right lane was 18-wheelers. Sheets of rain fell on the car and high surf waves washed over the car from the trucks. I clutched the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles were blue, not white. We stopped once for hot coffee from 7-11. When we got home I felt I could be taken out of the car only with the wheel still in my hands. And that memory is crisp and vivid like it was yesterday
By sunset we go on the trail and enjoy the views of the rugged coastline if Big Sur. Silvery ocean with golden trail of sun rays, waves shattering against the rocks and taste of the ocean air on the lips. I am back with the living! And it does not matter that Riesling tastes salty and hurts my tongue and I cannot really order anything spicy or tangy, I can live with that. It does not matter that my arm is numb and is really tired by the end of the day. I can live with that too. But I am back, I am on the road and I feel alive.