Yep, Chicago came and went. Beautiful city with hundreds of photos for memories and 5 hour return flight delay. The latter still did not spoil the trip overall. It was not easy to go back to work after 3 hours of sleep and the following days were a blur. I am trying really hard to study for boards. Hence it is going back to student years in its worst form – study, snack, step, study, eat, sleep. I have not even realized how the week flew by. I did get into the topic of cardio-oncology and praised myself for NOT googling ALL side effects of my chemo before getting it. Now I am praying in gratitude to have avoided dreadful complications – fulminant inflammation of the heart muscle with 30% mortality. Among other things. Well other things can still happen. I can only continue praying. But I had a real chance to study what happens in great detail and all of a sudden these questions are so much easier to answer on the test.
I am still in the afterglow of my trip. Nothing could deter me from soaking in the vibes even rain on the last day. I tried to find beauty in it and here is the pic:
The vagabond in me wants to travel again and again and again. Despite all the scary stuff I learned about toxic effects of chemotherapy on the heart and continuous issues with salty coffee I am optimistic. Although there is one thing I realized – I will NEVER EVER be off the hook. Return of this cancer or new cancer elsewhere will forever lurk in the back of my mind. It does not really help that a few acquaintances got inoperable and incurable cancers. Those are people who may not be friends but I have known them for years and all of a sudden their lives are cut short. And there is nothing you can say or do. Everything will be fine simply cannot be said. And I feel lucky even more so. I also feel that the general idea that cancer means there is something fundamentally wrong with body defense is something one should take seriously and consider any cancer treatment as a patch to the wound that requires major lifestyle change in the future. Once hit one will never be completely free. It sounds rather grim, doesn’t it? On the other hand, it makes one value every day so much more.
I think I will take a little time off from the blog before the end of October. Boards are coming up in less than ten days and my main entertainment in the remaining week is going to take up all my free time. It is looking more and more like this:
Questions, answers, correcting wrong ones and then…. More questions with final exam in ten days. I am definitely not looking forward to humiliation of showing my pockets, raising my sleeves and what have you to prove that I am not hiding entire cardiology manual in my clothing or the paper wrap of my cough drop. That’s how it was 15 years ago. I will live to tell the tale…