I have to get a new car. I decided it will go to my son and armed and determined I set my foot into the dealership. I counted – throughout the years of my life in the US this is car #20 that I am buying. So the dance is quite familiar to me. Purchase of the car is like Ravel’s Bolero of sorts – you approach cautiously, the dance escalates gradually and finally it culminates into a deal. On the other hand, it is like boxing – each side throws a punch – a row of numbers. The same page is passed back and forth several times until one of parties capitulates and goes into the knockdown. I have had various experiences over the years – one when I walked out after 3 hours of negotiations and another when everything was done and dandy after only 2 hours. I learned that men cannot be helping me buy a car – I have to do all the bargaining myself. I know tricks of the trade. This time I have an approved loan in my pocket and a lot of determination. I come back driving new silvery Prius and it is already dark. I feel drained. Even though I have gotten almost what I wanted – I feel drained. I am exhausted and I find myself in bed at 8:30. The biggest pleasure of the day is to turn off the alarm.
I also talk to a friend of mine about our upcoming trip to New York. Two of us have diagnosis of cancer. Neither is planning on reunion ten years down the line. It is sad but liberating at the same time. We live more in a moment than the others. We are more inclined to act today. In a way cancer influences someone similarly to the loss of a loved one – life will never be the same. You value friendships more than you value material things. You wish for another year free of disease. You take one day at a time….